* you can convince yourself you're okay and laugh your way through things, and then realise that the subconscious grinding of your teeth, strange Deja-vu episodes, vivid and horrible dreams and the no-show of your period are perhaps related to the events of the past few weeks.
*That it's very strange and a little scary to see your mum in a hospital bed-pale,exhausted,feeling panicky, and without her usual spirit.
*That when confronted with stress, I can't ignore it by keeping busy, instead I find it almost impossible to do work that I know is waiting for me.
*That your good friend you have known since you were 4, will only send a txt about the cancer 2 weeks ago when you tell her about your mum, and then won't mention it again the next time she txts...or ask how your mum is since then.
*In turn, the girl who does your waxing will txt you often to see how you are, and offer unexpected support and friendship-knowing how you might be feeling after her father was diagnosed with cancer last year.
*That even thought there is a chance for this to get worse, I can't quite confront that scenario in my mind yet.
*That a hell of a lot of stuff can go down in 2 weeks, cancelled FET;s, cancer diagnosis, devastating earthquakes and tsunamis, and it's hard and also confusing to put things into perspective.
*That you can feel a little guilty for still having your FET on your mind with everything else happening.
*That your first bottle of red wine in a very long time is absolute bliss when shared with your husband.
*That you can find amazing support from strangers, blogger buddies, forum and email buddies-Thanks guys:)
Love you long time Madgey..xoxo
ReplyDeleteHuge big hugs for what you and your family have faced of recent. And it is normal that your FET is still always in your head. This is making you are stonger woman that you were before.
Mmmmmmmmm Red... what Id do for a bottle of Shiraz!
Its interesting how sometimes the most unexpected people offer support isn't it. You are going through such a hard time, I cant begin to imagine how hard it is to deal with your mums cancer on top of everything else. I think you are very strong. Its ok to still think of the FET, your mum would want you to carry on im sure. Some great news for her and you would be a fantastic tonic. Be brave. And I hope only the best for you and your mum
ReplyDeleteI can related to almost everything you listed here. Especially the mom in hospital bed and the friend being crappy. I hope you are doing well and I am praying for you and your mom. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry... this is such a rough time for you. I can't imagine. My Mom was in and out of the hospital every few weeks this past year through my treatments... it was extremely scary, and I do the same thing with stress. It's almost like I freeze to brace myself against the storm, and then I can't really move until it's over. Thanking of you, and sending hugs and prayers...
ReplyDelete((((BIG HUG)))) It is so scary and I hope your mum is coping ok and I just know she has all the love and support of her family right by her side which is a huge help. Always thinking of you love. xox
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your mum at the moment... it is amazing how support often comes from the most unexpected people sometime, while others disappoint. Hope her treatment is going OK... such a heart-wrenching thing to go through and to watch a loved one go through. Hope you're all getting the support you need at the hospital too. Love always xoxo
ReplyDelete(HUGE HUG) Hope you are coping ok. I agree, I think that's why AF hasn't knocked on your door yet, you have so many other visitors taking up your mind space. Thinking of you and your mum.
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