Remember a few posts ago I complained this is like the never-ending IVF cycle?Well I'm no closer to finishing it. I had a blood test this morning to check my hormone levels, and got a phone call this afternoon to say my progesterone levels are too high and our FET has been cancelled.
FUCK.
I was with people when they phoned so held it together and pretended it was a client calling, then phoned the clinic back later to ask why this has happened-as I didn't understand.
The nurse said that I was too far past the right time to put an embryo in-basically we missed the boat. She said maybe my body was going to have a shorter cycle and that's why- I feel pissed off though as my last 2 cycles have been 25 days-shorter than my usual 28 days. Surely this should have been taken into account? The blood test today was day 16-apparently that's the earliest they usually do the blood test to check hormone levels but she said next cycle they may do it a day earlier.
Well yes that would be very helpful thank you. In fact-I would have happily done a blood test every day for the past week if it meant they could have picked this up earlier and not cancelled our cycle.
I thought that with a medicated cycle they had a little more control over things, clearly I was wrong.
I was more worried about our embryos thawing than the possibility of having to cancel-didn't even cross my mind at all.
So I'm well fucking pissed off, I was in such a good head space, I was so ready for Friday, I had only just today got myself all nicely brazilian-ed, and I was ready to tackle my 2ww head on and win.
I know it probably doesn't seem like such a big deal to some people, all I have to do is wait another month right? I just feel like we have been mucked around so much-first with not being able to complete our IVF, then waiting 2 cycles, and now this. I'm well and I'm healthy at the moment, we have the embryos there and ready, I just want to put one in and as I have said before-test drive my ute. Why is that turning out to be such a bloody mission?
I know I know-nothing is easy on this journey, we are constantly tested and nothing is straightforward. It sucks.I'm starting to feel like I have jinxed us by taking the December time slot when it was offered to me rather than waiting for when we were originally scheduled to start IVF in October this year(for those outside of NZ we qualified for a government funded cycle but unfortunately it means long waiting lists) At this rate it probably will be October by the time I get to do anything.
I also just wanted to mention how sorry I am for a good friend who just got a BFN on her 2nd IVF cycle, thinking of you darling girl- and 2011 had better get it's act together or Megachon and EggySue and RedPowerRanger with our powers combined are going to kick some serious ass!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Time to focus...and a mouse tale.
The earthquake disaster has completely occupied out thoughts for the past 3 days and of course will continue to do so for a long time.My mum is still waiting to get a flight home(hopefully tomorrow)I can't wait to see her- and of course the utter devastation in Christchurch is tragic and far reaching and everyone who's suffering losses will be in our hearts and thoughts.
I've started to bring some focus back to the FET cycle again though...it's been in the back of my mind these past days but I'm starting to get back into the buzz again and feeling good!
I had an acupuncture session 2 days ago where she praised my strong pulses and said they were the pulses of someone in great health which completely boosted my confidence in my body's capability to make this work.
I'm actually looking forward to the blood test on Monday-for someone who is scared of needles this is a pretty major statement-and I hereby reserve the right to retract this statement the closer I get to that test and change it to 'get that faaarkin needle away from my veins lady'.
But I'm bored with taking pills, get me to the exciting part- needles and transfers and embryos and....kittens...okay maybe not the last one but if you sing that line in your bestest Sound of Music voice it just seems to fit.
Notice I didn't mention pessaries in that list of excitement....they stay firmly on the 'not excited' and 'how to lose a husband in 10 days' list. All I needed to say was 'messy' to him and that was that. Nuff said.
In other news I feel extremely tired this morning after some mouse-capades last night.
Our naughty cat came into our bedroom at some crazy hour last night meaowing her head off and disappeared under the bed. We have had enough interrupted sleep lately as it is with bloody mozzies-every few hours one of us has been up like a shot, lights on, swearing and on a mozzie hunting mission.
So G shooed her out from under there with random-under-bed-object (it was actually a lifejacket but that probably requires further explanation so I won't go there).
We shut naughty cat out and went back to sleep. Only to be woken at 5am by rather loud scuffling somewhere in the room-G investigated and discovered a mouse-that naughty kitty had obviously brought in and left us as a 'catch it yourself' present.
The rest is history-in 2 minutes flat G had the mattress against one wall, our bed base against another, and every other bit of bedroom furniture pulled away from the walls. He charged around the room as it shot from corner to corner, and I stood ready with a towel to throw over it-and periodically collapsed in hysterics while I watched G racing around in his boxers waving a plastic container..
He in turn guffawed as a peculiar sound was emitted from me when the mouse ran across my foot. Best described as a YEEoooOW! (rising to high pitched crescendo).
We finally cornered it and G trapped the poor little guy in the container, where he proceeded to run around and then stand on his tiptoes, and fall backwards, like a teeny drunkard but probably more likely because naughty cat had taken half of his tail as a souvenir.
G let him free in a hedge outside and by then it was 6am and we couldn't sleep. So we thanked our cat for her gift of 5am excitement, and then lay there and talked about our new business venture as animal friendly mouse catchers. We will come at any hour, turn your house upside down, and then let the culprit free in your backyard where it will most probably be back inside within a day.
I've started to bring some focus back to the FET cycle again though...it's been in the back of my mind these past days but I'm starting to get back into the buzz again and feeling good!
I had an acupuncture session 2 days ago where she praised my strong pulses and said they were the pulses of someone in great health which completely boosted my confidence in my body's capability to make this work.
I'm actually looking forward to the blood test on Monday-for someone who is scared of needles this is a pretty major statement-and I hereby reserve the right to retract this statement the closer I get to that test and change it to 'get that faaarkin needle away from my veins lady'.
But I'm bored with taking pills, get me to the exciting part- needles and transfers and embryos and....kittens...okay maybe not the last one but if you sing that line in your bestest Sound of Music voice it just seems to fit.
Notice I didn't mention pessaries in that list of excitement....they stay firmly on the 'not excited' and 'how to lose a husband in 10 days' list. All I needed to say was 'messy' to him and that was that. Nuff said.
In other news I feel extremely tired this morning after some mouse-capades last night.
Our naughty cat came into our bedroom at some crazy hour last night meaowing her head off and disappeared under the bed. We have had enough interrupted sleep lately as it is with bloody mozzies-every few hours one of us has been up like a shot, lights on, swearing and on a mozzie hunting mission.
So G shooed her out from under there with random-under-bed-object (it was actually a lifejacket but that probably requires further explanation so I won't go there).
We shut naughty cat out and went back to sleep. Only to be woken at 5am by rather loud scuffling somewhere in the room-G investigated and discovered a mouse-that naughty kitty had obviously brought in and left us as a 'catch it yourself' present.
The rest is history-in 2 minutes flat G had the mattress against one wall, our bed base against another, and every other bit of bedroom furniture pulled away from the walls. He charged around the room as it shot from corner to corner, and I stood ready with a towel to throw over it-and periodically collapsed in hysterics while I watched G racing around in his boxers waving a plastic container..
He in turn guffawed as a peculiar sound was emitted from me when the mouse ran across my foot. Best described as a YEEoooOW! (rising to high pitched crescendo).
We finally cornered it and G trapped the poor little guy in the container, where he proceeded to run around and then stand on his tiptoes, and fall backwards, like a teeny drunkard but probably more likely because naughty cat had taken half of his tail as a souvenir.
G let him free in a hedge outside and by then it was 6am and we couldn't sleep. So we thanked our cat for her gift of 5am excitement, and then lay there and talked about our new business venture as animal friendly mouse catchers. We will come at any hour, turn your house upside down, and then let the culprit free in your backyard where it will most probably be back inside within a day.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Earthquake
Today G and I had the TV on and happened to notice a small 'breaking news' banner saying there had been a major aftershock in Christchurch-in the South Island of New Zealand-we have since been glued to the news for 6 hours.
A major aftershock it has been.
Christchurch had a 7.2 earthquake last September which did some major damage but thankfully no loss of life as it happened in the early hours of the morning.they have had aftershocks since then.
The earthquake today was 6.3 but only 5kms from the surface and apparently a very violent shake. What we have seen on unedited live footage today is horrendous, it happened just before 1pm - cars crushed by falling debri -many with people inside, buildings collapsed, injured crying people everywhere, it's heartbreaking and terrifying.
So far 65 people confirmed dead and expected to rise-and approx 200 people trapped in buildings or rubble.
We live in the North Island, but my mum has been visiting my grandma in Christchurch for the past week and she was driving to the airport when it happened, she's okay thank goodness and is camping in a hotel foyer overnight along with a heap of other stranded people, as the airport is closed.
My grandma is thankfully okay too but her house is apparently quite damaged.
I really can't believe what has unfolded today. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this earthquake, and my thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is still trapped tonight as the darkness sets in.
A major aftershock it has been.
Christchurch had a 7.2 earthquake last September which did some major damage but thankfully no loss of life as it happened in the early hours of the morning.they have had aftershocks since then.
The earthquake today was 6.3 but only 5kms from the surface and apparently a very violent shake. What we have seen on unedited live footage today is horrendous, it happened just before 1pm - cars crushed by falling debri -many with people inside, buildings collapsed, injured crying people everywhere, it's heartbreaking and terrifying.
So far 65 people confirmed dead and expected to rise-and approx 200 people trapped in buildings or rubble.
We live in the North Island, but my mum has been visiting my grandma in Christchurch for the past week and she was driving to the airport when it happened, she's okay thank goodness and is camping in a hotel foyer overnight along with a heap of other stranded people, as the airport is closed.
My grandma is thankfully okay too but her house is apparently quite damaged.
I really can't believe what has unfolded today. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this earthquake, and my thoughts and prayers are with everyone who is still trapped tonight as the darkness sets in.
Monday, February 21, 2011
2 years today
Today seemed like any other ordinary Monday, until I saw a friend's status update wishing her husband a happy 2nd wedding Anniversary.
You see, we were at that wedding 2 years ago, and that night in a haze of love and optimism we officially began trying to fall pregnant. I can still remember the giddy, heart pounding excitement over those next couple of weeks with the thought that we may have actually created something amazing-our first baby.
The giddy excitement has faded somewhat, the optimism often wanes, but the love is definitely still there and stronger than ever.
I have been back and forth to this post as I was going to write a list of how the last 2 years have shaped and changed us....but I just can't seem to find the right words lately-which explains why it's been a week since my last post (I really feel the urge to say 'forgive me bloggers for I have sinned'-before that sentence).
I've just been swaying lately, from optimism and positivity, to negativity and fear of what's going to happen. I have held a friend's newborn in hospital this week and have been filled with hope, and then gotten into the car and felt gutted that we don't have that joy in our lives yet.
I obsessed over the FET cycle all last week, and then had a beautiful dinner out with G on the weekend and left all of that stress at the door.
Up and down, one extreme to the other. So I really don't know what I want to say about reaching 2 years, and I might just have to leave it for another post.
It's been a while since I've updated on how this cycle is going though....I'm on Day 9 now. I finally heard back from the nurse for our Day 1, but I really struggled in those first few days to get any information about how this cycle was going to work which annoyed me no end. We finally got a plan in the mail a couple of days ago, I'm taking Progynova pills for a minimum of 16 days, have a Blood test next Monday, and if those results are okay, then a possible transfer next Friday.
It feels like it's dragging to be honest-I think compared to doing the antagonist IVF cycle where everything moved so fast, I'm just bored already!
I'm doing my best to stay nice and healthy, have upped my water intake again, trying to stay away from my best friend and worst enemy-sugar, still gym-ing it, no coffee or alcohol(okay I had one glass of red wine when we went out to dinner but it's a very rare occasion for us and I savoured every last drop!) and all the rest, folic acid, relaxation download, acupuncture blah blah, y'all know the drill!
I think I'm still feeling positive overall, we have been talking a lot about the end of the year 'when we have the baby', and what we will be doing for Christmas etc with our baby...which I know might be taking it too far but I guess I'm trying to ingrain that thought into my mind in the hopes it will help keep our spirits up. We are going to be terribly disappointed if it doesn't work no matter what so I figure what the hell, we're allowed to have our baby fantasies! I'm a little nervous about the 2ww though seeing as it's my first one, and I know it will be a torturous wait.
I have a plan to put my feet up for a couple of days after transfer and I'm making a list of DVD's to get out-comedies and anything light and non-depressing!So if anyone has any suggestions let me know!
You see, we were at that wedding 2 years ago, and that night in a haze of love and optimism we officially began trying to fall pregnant. I can still remember the giddy, heart pounding excitement over those next couple of weeks with the thought that we may have actually created something amazing-our first baby.
The giddy excitement has faded somewhat, the optimism often wanes, but the love is definitely still there and stronger than ever.
I have been back and forth to this post as I was going to write a list of how the last 2 years have shaped and changed us....but I just can't seem to find the right words lately-which explains why it's been a week since my last post (I really feel the urge to say 'forgive me bloggers for I have sinned'-before that sentence).
I've just been swaying lately, from optimism and positivity, to negativity and fear of what's going to happen. I have held a friend's newborn in hospital this week and have been filled with hope, and then gotten into the car and felt gutted that we don't have that joy in our lives yet.
I obsessed over the FET cycle all last week, and then had a beautiful dinner out with G on the weekend and left all of that stress at the door.
Up and down, one extreme to the other. So I really don't know what I want to say about reaching 2 years, and I might just have to leave it for another post.
It's been a while since I've updated on how this cycle is going though....I'm on Day 9 now. I finally heard back from the nurse for our Day 1, but I really struggled in those first few days to get any information about how this cycle was going to work which annoyed me no end. We finally got a plan in the mail a couple of days ago, I'm taking Progynova pills for a minimum of 16 days, have a Blood test next Monday, and if those results are okay, then a possible transfer next Friday.
It feels like it's dragging to be honest-I think compared to doing the antagonist IVF cycle where everything moved so fast, I'm just bored already!
I'm doing my best to stay nice and healthy, have upped my water intake again, trying to stay away from my best friend and worst enemy-sugar, still gym-ing it, no coffee or alcohol(okay I had one glass of red wine when we went out to dinner but it's a very rare occasion for us and I savoured every last drop!) and all the rest, folic acid, relaxation download, acupuncture blah blah, y'all know the drill!
I think I'm still feeling positive overall, we have been talking a lot about the end of the year 'when we have the baby', and what we will be doing for Christmas etc with our baby...which I know might be taking it too far but I guess I'm trying to ingrain that thought into my mind in the hopes it will help keep our spirits up. We are going to be terribly disappointed if it doesn't work no matter what so I figure what the hell, we're allowed to have our baby fantasies! I'm a little nervous about the 2ww though seeing as it's my first one, and I know it will be a torturous wait.
I have a plan to put my feet up for a couple of days after transfer and I'm making a list of DVD's to get out-comedies and anything light and non-depressing!So if anyone has any suggestions let me know!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Day 1 is here!
*trumpet intro*
Day 1 is here toot toot!
AF wasn't due until Tuesday but hey, these last few months she likes to mix it up a bit, keep me on my toes and unprepared with no tampons.
It actually arrived yesterday but today is considered Day 1 I think.
I'm a little annoyed though as I phoned up and left a message with the nurses yesterday telling them my period had just started and I wasn't sure if yesterday was considered as Day 1 or today. And no one bloody got back to me which pissed me off just a little. The thing is, I have NO idea what the hell I'm doing for this cycle, I have a big box of Progynova sitting in my cupboard which I think I'm supposed to start taking maybe today?tomorrow?Who knows? I sure don't. At our last appointment the specialist just handed me a prescription and mentioned something about 3x a day.
Usually you then go into a room next door and the nurse goes over things with you in a little more detail. Well she was away that day and was apparently going to phone me within a few days-never did.
Maybe yesterday they all sat around and listened to my message and laughed because I am a stupid girl who can't figure out that yesterday probably wasn't day 1, because it wasn't the day I actually 'woke up' with my period. And then maybe someone said 'silly insolent girl-lets make her suffer and NOT call her back today'.And then they all sat around and cackled and listened to my stupid message over and over again.
I'm pretty sure that's what happened, and not that they were just busy or something.
Okay so I think hormones are wreaking havoc a little here, yesterday I went into 4 different supermarkets to try and find the organic tampons I usually use and nothing. Normally I would just buy some normal ones and be done with it. But because as of yesterday I'm suddenly freaking out about everything, I decided I will simply not insert anything into my hoo-ha that isn't unbleached organic cotton. Only the best will do for my embryo that isn't even anywhere near my ute yet and I'm sure really won't give a flying fuck what kind of tampons I have used-it will have a lovely new lining by then anyway so who really cares? I DO.
G was also given a stern talking to yesterday about not letting any milli-specks of dust into the house as he's just about finished shaping a surfboard (yes...my husband decided he would shape a surfboard just before his paranoid wife entered her FET cycle...not the smartest idea he's ever had) and I had a small tanti about him washing his resin tainted hands in our sink and using up our last clean hand towel to dry them. He spent the rest of the night rocking in the corner and sneaking furtive hurt glances at me over his shoulder. Nah he actually made me dinner instead-just as well.
And I may or may not have also written an email to the company that makes the vegetarian meatballs we had last night,unimpressed that there were only 8 in the packet. I did this before we had even had dinner and now I feel a little regretful as they were delicious, and four meatballs is actually pretty satisfactory.I probably should have added to that email a warning sign-'hormonal vent incoming, please send straight to spam'
But apart from all of that-We're actually pretty damn excited now.We have named our embryos appropriately childish coochi-coo names which I'm not even going to reveal, and G is pretty sure out 2 embies are a boy and a girl...I actually think 2 girls but we'll see. And yes we are totally counting our chickens before they've hatched but I think a little bit of positive excitement is a good thing.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
When I grow up I wanna be.....
I've struggled to think of anything to write the past few days, and this won't be a comedic post as all of those posts are rather sarcastic and I don't feel sarcastic today.
I feel...excited, hopeful, content,slightly emotional, happy, just a weird mix of emotions.
I'm excited about our upcoming Embryo transfer...but I'm also strangely excited about life in general-as in life outside infertility.
I feel that the gym has done absolute wonders for my state of mind so far this year, it's such a small thing, I only go about 2-3 times a week. But I look forward to the classes and it keeps my mind off everything, and I guess I look forward to seeing the results just as much as I look forward to seeing the results of FET-if that makes sense? In fact I'll almost feel a little disappointed to give up the strenuous classes if I get a BFP next month-does that make me the worst infertile ever?
This is probably the right moment to get it all out there and admit that although I'm excited about Embryo transfer day-I'm also almost just as excited that we will be going for lunch at my favourite restaurant afterwards...again I say...worst infertile ever?
I don't know, I think I'm just starting to realise there is life and joy outside of this little anxious sad bubble I've been floating around in for the past 2 years. Don't get me wrong, I will be absolutely wetting my pants with excitement if we get a BFP, but I'm kind of enjoying putting infertility second for a while, and thinking about things that make me happy.
I have also made big decision over the past couple of days. I'm going to go back and study-to become a Veterinary Assistant.
I have a Diploma in Fashion Design which has served me well the past 6 or so years and culminated in me owning a Clothing Alterations business for the past few years, but I sold that last year-mainly to give us the best chance of IVF working. And now I just can't see myself doing anything fashion related as a career for the rest of my life. I will always sew and carry on with my crafts because I love it. but I need something a little more fulfilling. So I thought really hard about what my other passions were and the first thing that came to mind was animals.
I mean I am NUTS about animals. I can find the 'cute' in anything.Even cows!Which would explain why I'm a vegetarian.... G and I had a holiday to the Sunshine Coast last year and we went to Australia Zoo and then got to tour the animal hospital on site-they do a show on TV called Wild Vets. I absolutely loved it and I just wanted to be there inside those rooms taking care of the animals like the Vets were.They had baby bats in there and I just about fell over with delight.
So as soon as the thought of Veterinarian assistant came to mind I immediately thought that is what I want to do.
I know it will be tough, and I know there will be hard times, but I really feel such a strong empathy with animals and I just think this could be 'the' career for me.the job that will satisfy me for years to come.
Sooo...with this new decision and life plan in place, I suddenly have something else in life to look forward to as well as babies, and it feels good, empowering you might say. Obviously I won't be studying this year but it's nice to have a goal to work towards.
I almost feel guilty that my FET isn't foremost in my thoughts right now, but you know what, I just feel bloody great right now!
I feel...excited, hopeful, content,slightly emotional, happy, just a weird mix of emotions.
I'm excited about our upcoming Embryo transfer...but I'm also strangely excited about life in general-as in life outside infertility.
I feel that the gym has done absolute wonders for my state of mind so far this year, it's such a small thing, I only go about 2-3 times a week. But I look forward to the classes and it keeps my mind off everything, and I guess I look forward to seeing the results just as much as I look forward to seeing the results of FET-if that makes sense? In fact I'll almost feel a little disappointed to give up the strenuous classes if I get a BFP next month-does that make me the worst infertile ever?
This is probably the right moment to get it all out there and admit that although I'm excited about Embryo transfer day-I'm also almost just as excited that we will be going for lunch at my favourite restaurant afterwards...again I say...worst infertile ever?
I don't know, I think I'm just starting to realise there is life and joy outside of this little anxious sad bubble I've been floating around in for the past 2 years. Don't get me wrong, I will be absolutely wetting my pants with excitement if we get a BFP, but I'm kind of enjoying putting infertility second for a while, and thinking about things that make me happy.
I have also made big decision over the past couple of days. I'm going to go back and study-to become a Veterinary Assistant.
I have a Diploma in Fashion Design which has served me well the past 6 or so years and culminated in me owning a Clothing Alterations business for the past few years, but I sold that last year-mainly to give us the best chance of IVF working. And now I just can't see myself doing anything fashion related as a career for the rest of my life. I will always sew and carry on with my crafts because I love it. but I need something a little more fulfilling. So I thought really hard about what my other passions were and the first thing that came to mind was animals.
I mean I am NUTS about animals. I can find the 'cute' in anything.Even cows!Which would explain why I'm a vegetarian.... G and I had a holiday to the Sunshine Coast last year and we went to Australia Zoo and then got to tour the animal hospital on site-they do a show on TV called Wild Vets. I absolutely loved it and I just wanted to be there inside those rooms taking care of the animals like the Vets were.They had baby bats in there and I just about fell over with delight.
So as soon as the thought of Veterinarian assistant came to mind I immediately thought that is what I want to do.
I know it will be tough, and I know there will be hard times, but I really feel such a strong empathy with animals and I just think this could be 'the' career for me.the job that will satisfy me for years to come.
Sooo...with this new decision and life plan in place, I suddenly have something else in life to look forward to as well as babies, and it feels good, empowering you might say. Obviously I won't be studying this year but it's nice to have a goal to work towards.
I almost feel guilty that my FET isn't foremost in my thoughts right now, but you know what, I just feel bloody great right now!
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Infertile's 10 Commandments
Thou shalt not get pregnant when thou wishes.
Yes the basic first commandment of Infertility-you will not get pregnant when you want to,that would mean you're fertile, which is a swear word in the Infertile village.Nuff said.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's pregnant belly, gaggle of children, or neighbour's husband's olympic sperm...although you may covet their Ox, Donkey or Cart if you wish.
Thou shalt not steal...any more free fertility drug samples or free pregnancy tests.
You've had your share while the doctor isn't looking and now he's on to you.Stop it, stop it now.
Thou shalt not commit adultery with the Dildocam....any more than 3 times a week.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against your pregnancy test. It's not a line it's an evaporation mark, stop making false accusations.
Honour your fertility doctor...even though he doesn't know your name or how he's going to get you pregnant.Pretty much all he knows is that you're Vag'n'Ute #1365
Thou shalt not show excitement at pregnancy announcements.
Because quite frankly thou is really not all that excited to hear about your 10th baby on the way.
Thou shalt not makes jokes with the fertility specialist.
Don't even try and lighten the mood, fertility clinics are supposed to be dark and foreboding and your laughter is spoiling the atmosphere.
Thou shalt not giggle like a 13 year old....when husband has to jack-off into small container.Nor when the doctor tells him to ejaculate daily.
Thou may have a small guffaw at the doc rolling a condom on to dildo-cam though.
Thou shalt not use profanities when Facebook foe complains once again about pregnancy
...just kidding, go for your life....fuck, arse, vagina-face, use your imagination and go wild, it's your Infertile licence.
Yes the basic first commandment of Infertility-you will not get pregnant when you want to,that would mean you're fertile, which is a swear word in the Infertile village.Nuff said.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's pregnant belly, gaggle of children, or neighbour's husband's olympic sperm...although you may covet their Ox, Donkey or Cart if you wish.
Thou shalt not steal...any more free fertility drug samples or free pregnancy tests.
You've had your share while the doctor isn't looking and now he's on to you.Stop it, stop it now.
Thou shalt not commit adultery with the Dildocam....any more than 3 times a week.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against your pregnancy test. It's not a line it's an evaporation mark, stop making false accusations.
Honour your fertility doctor...even though he doesn't know your name or how he's going to get you pregnant.Pretty much all he knows is that you're Vag'n'Ute #1365
Thou shalt not show excitement at pregnancy announcements.
Because quite frankly thou is really not all that excited to hear about your 10th baby on the way.
Thou shalt not makes jokes with the fertility specialist.
Don't even try and lighten the mood, fertility clinics are supposed to be dark and foreboding and your laughter is spoiling the atmosphere.
Thou shalt not giggle like a 13 year old....when husband has to jack-off into small container.Nor when the doctor tells him to ejaculate daily.
Thou may have a small guffaw at the doc rolling a condom on to dildo-cam though.
Thou shalt not use profanities when Facebook foe complains once again about pregnancy
...just kidding, go for your life....fuck, arse, vagina-face, use your imagination and go wild, it's your Infertile licence.
Friday, February 4, 2011
A blast from the past
My latest baking effort-LAMINGTONS! How quaint! And that just about sums up my day....Desperate Housewives anyone?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Oh the excitement
I'm just starting to feel a teeny tiny bit....EXCITED.
Forget being worried about all that stuff I said in the last post, that's like, so last week.
I had an acupuncture appointment last night and as I was telling her about what will be happening, I realised I'm in the 2 week countdown now to CD1, and I started to feel the first flutters of actual excitement. Soon I will be closer to becoming pregnant than I ever have been before. We will finally have a chance to make a baby, a little fusion of me and G put together.And I'll finally get to test-drive my uterus, see what stuff it's made of. It's been sitting in there lying dormant for the past 27 years, now I get to see if it has skills other than throwing a hissy every month and having a big bloody cry.
I'd like to just stay with this excited feeling now, I hope I keep feeling like this right up until BT day, and then hopefully there will be a real reason for being excited.
*warning* if you google 'uterus' images, be prepared for some truly ghastly medical scenes. In fact I still feel a little faint as I write this. I had to do a speedy skim through until amongst the blood and guts I found a cute uterus on a bike (and with a tiny BABY uterus-squee!how cute!) and then got the hell out of there!
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