2 years today

Today seemed like any other ordinary Monday, until I saw a friend's status update wishing her husband a happy 2nd wedding Anniversary.
You see, we were at that wedding 2 years ago, and that night in a haze of love and optimism we officially began trying to fall pregnant. I can still remember the giddy, heart pounding excitement over those next couple of weeks with the thought that we may have actually created something amazing-our first baby.
The giddy excitement has faded somewhat, the optimism often wanes, but the love is definitely still there and stronger than ever.
I have been back and forth to this post as I was going to write a list of how the last 2 years have shaped and changed us....but I just can't seem to find the right words lately-which explains why it's been a week since my last post (I really feel the urge to say 'forgive me bloggers for I have sinned'-before that sentence).
I've just been swaying lately, from optimism and positivity, to negativity and fear of what's going to happen. I have held a friend's newborn in hospital this week and have been filled with hope, and then gotten into the car and felt gutted that we don't have that joy in our lives yet.
I obsessed over the FET cycle all last week, and then had a beautiful dinner out with G on the weekend and left all of that stress at the door.
Up and down, one extreme to the other. So I really don't know what I want to say about reaching 2 years, and I might just have to leave it for another post.

It's been a while since I've updated on how this cycle is going though....I'm on Day 9 now. I finally heard back from the nurse for our Day 1, but I really struggled in those first few days to get any information about how this cycle was going to work which annoyed me no end. We finally got a plan in the mail a couple of days ago, I'm taking Progynova pills for a minimum of 16 days, have a Blood test next Monday, and if those results are okay, then a possible transfer next Friday.
It feels like it's dragging to be honest-I think compared to doing the antagonist IVF cycle where everything moved so fast, I'm just bored already!
I'm doing my best to stay nice and healthy, have upped my water intake again, trying to stay away from my best friend and worst enemy-sugar, still gym-ing it, no coffee or alcohol(okay I had one glass of red wine when we went out to dinner but it's a very rare occasion for us and I savoured every last drop!) and all the rest, folic acid, relaxation download, acupuncture blah blah, y'all know the drill!
I think I'm still feeling positive overall, we have been talking a lot about the end of the year 'when we have the baby', and what we will be doing for Christmas etc with our baby...which I know might be taking it too far but I guess I'm trying to ingrain that thought into my mind in the hopes it will help keep our spirits up. We are going to be terribly disappointed if it doesn't work no matter what so I figure what the hell, we're allowed to have our baby fantasies! I'm a little nervous about the 2ww though seeing as it's my first one, and I know it will be a torturous wait.
I have a plan to put my feet up for a couple of days after transfer and I'm making a list of DVD's to get out-comedies and anything light and non-depressing!So if anyone has any suggestions let me know!