back on track...I think

I feel back on track today, I'm heading off to the gym shortly,  the sun is shining,  I have a snuggly grey kitty curled up on my bed,  and I'm taking my mum to a few shops this afternoon.
Mums had a CT scan which came back clear yesterday which is a HUGE relief, it means that so far it hasn't spread any further.She still has a bone scan next week but feels like that will be okay.

I talk to my mum a lot about people's responses and 'helpful suggestions' to her cancer and I can't believe how similar they are to the responses we get to IF!

They're 2 quite different things, but for the first time I feel like mum actually understands how frustrating it is to have people offer advice and comments on things they know nothing about.

And people also seem to fob it off so easily- 'oh you'll be fine, it's just a glitch'.....um it's actually a little more than a glitch, have YOU had a new boob made out of your tummy lately? Are YOU now living with the fear of cancer spreading? No? you're not? Well then keep your damn glitches in your britches.

I've come to the conclusion that most people actually don't want to hear bad news. They don't like to hear that you're Infertile, or you have cancer, they'd much prefer to fob it off and move on to happier things.

And I get that in a way, after all my annoying motto lately has been all things positive, but I will never fob off someone else's pain, or not listen to them, just to keep the butterflies flying around my head.

I think with both Infertility and Cancer, sufferers just want to be LISTENED to. They don't want to be told "pffft you'll be FINE' with a wave of the hand, or to eat some adzuki beans because they fight cancer/infertility, or that your brothers wife's kitty-cat had cancer and she's okay now so you will be too, or her cat adopted a kitten so you should do that too.
 When people brush you off like that it's like they're saying your feelings and fears aren't justified, that you shouldn't be sad, angry, or whatever because here's the thing, they have a crystal ball and they KNOW that you'll be okay....and plus your spoiling their candied view of the world and also not focusing your attention on them, so shut up about your problems and lets talk about them for a while.

So it's been really interesting to talk about people's reactions with my mum and I feel like I know exactly where she's coming from.

I'm feeling good today but also a little worried about my BT on Monday, I keep thinking if this is what I'm like just with this blood test- what am I going to be like in the 2WW? I think because this is the blood test that actually determines whether I even get a chance to finally have my 2ww or not.....I'm just so freakin nervous about that phone call Monday afternoon!

I've scheduled in lots to do this weekend to make it go fast, including movies tonight with G, first time we've been in aaaages, and I'll have to break the healthy FET eating because I simply cannot go to the movies without gorging myself on popcorn, and then I may need something to wash it down with....that's okay though,corn is a vegetable after all so I'm just getting my 5+ a day.

Anyway I don't quite know where this post is going or what it's about, but I do want to say thank you for your supportive comments on the last post, a certain special barbie called Chon said she hoped I was getting support from my friends in real life...and the truth is no I'm not really, I have a couple of friends who have been amazing, but I think it's you guys who have been the most understanding, as you all know that IF is a huge enough thing to try and deal with, without adding other things to the mix, some day's I've felt like my head might explode with all that's running around in there. So I really appreciate having the support on here!