Day 7, Positive Peggy.

 It's Day 7 of my cycle already....which seems to have gone fast but it's also dragging. Because I know there's still another 10 days until I have the Blood Test and anything exciting happens.

We are pretty much doing exactly the same as last cycle, we got the plan in the mail at the start of the week.

The Blood Test was scheduled for day 17(a day later than last time). I freaked and left a message for the clinic wondering if a mistake had been made, so they called back and made the Blood test one day earlier-which makes it the same as last time.
 The nurse explained to me the the specialist had looked at my notes, and that last time I was only just above the levels that they like to see on Day 16, and that they need to have me on the Progunova for a certain amount of days for the whole cycle to work too. She said there's no reason why it shouldn't work for me this time.

I stewed on it for a while. Fretted about how it was going to be cancelled again.  And then I got a grip.

They're the specialists, not me. This is the way they like to do their manufactured cycles, and it's obviously not something that can be mucked around with-ie, getting an earlier blood test is all well and good, but if I haven't taken the Progynova for long enough and my ute lining isn't ready, then the cycle may get cancelled anyway.
If this cycle gets cancelled too, then they have a back up plan for me for the next cycle, something different to try.

So I'm going with it, and I'm feeling good about it. I've already told G that this cycle will work, and we will be having a baby girl.

I know some of you may read that and think I'm getting way ahead of myself and positive thinking is all well and good...until the cycle fails. But it's just the way I work at the moment.
In the back of my mind I am still realistic....a 40 % chance is a 40% chance. And I'm also open to the fact that the cycle may get cancelled again and we have do another. I'll be pissed off and upset, and then we'll try again-after the past few months I've come to realise that so many factors are involved and anything can happen-we can't control it.

But I'm not going to entertain those thoughts for the next 3-4 weeks. I'm telling myself it's going to work, I'm picturing the BFP, the baby we will have at the end of it....and I don't believe it sets me up for failure.
 Hey if it doesn't work I'll be super upset whether I've spent the last month convincing myself it has failed, or convincing myself it has worked.

 I know the whole positivity thing gets on people's nerves sometimes, and I get it. And I also don't believe you can completely overcome obstacles and change outcomes on positive thinking alone... it's not a magical cure that will make outcomes different in most situations. BUT, for me I'm just trying to go glass-half-full at the moment.And if I let myself dwell on things too much I fear that I'll lose myself in a fog of negativity and find it hard to crawl my way out. I have experienced this and I've been through my fair share of depressive episodes and I don't want to go back there.

So at the moment I'm feeling bloody great, and happy, and my posts may be annoyingly chirpy. so you'll all have to put up with all of my 'Positive Peggy' bullshit for a while longer sorry!

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”    Herm Albright