"Oh Christmas treeee"

After my not-so-great day on Friday, I have had a slightly better weekend although AF definitely had a firm grip on my up and down moodswings!
Saturday was spent Christmas shopping with my mum and one of my sisters, and although I felt pretty perky, I was not in a tolerant mood for anyone pushing a pram or sporting a beautiful blooming pregnant belly. And baby stores were passed with an unwavering stare ahead.

I'm actually usually okay with pregnant women, babies, and baby stores, in fact I spent the day after egg collection with my mum and a baby she was looking after for a friend, and I coped pretty well. And it's not that I'm holding a grudge towards anyone with children, especially as I realise when I have my own one day other people may be looking just as wistfully at my own belly or child.

It's just that every now and then, especially when you have your period as a stark reminder of what you don't have for another month (and even more so when it's after you've just done an IVF cycle with the intention of becoming pregnant) , it just plain hurts to see so much of what you want so badly yourself. Lets be honest, it's pure and simple jealousy. I want a baby, I want a pregnant belly, I want to feel the excitement of Christmas with our own child.

Today was a much better day despite constant rain, and I've managed to get some Christmas spirit back.
I'm even making my own Christmas mince pies for the first time ever!It's something I've always wanted to do but I've usually been so busy at work before Christmas. So I have the fruit mince made,I improvised a bit with Cointreau as we had no brandy or rum, but it tastes so good, and then will do the pastry bit tomorrow.

And I also decorated one of big G's indoor plants up as a Christmas tree, it sure aint no pine tree but it looks ever so festive!
I did it as a suprise for him while he was at work, thinking this could go either way, and then sat underneath it and wrapped some timsel around my head, intending on singing 'Oh Christmas Tree' as he came in the door, but we both just ended up pissing ourselves laughing when he came in and I couldn't sing for laughing so much, so it went down well anyway!